Never in a million years did I think I'd be writing this from a hospital bed. But here we are. This is what the Year of the Fire Horse delivered to me in week one. 😐 And it's teaching me everything I thought I knew about self-support in ways I never expected. Saturday week ago, I tripped while feeding my dog. All my weight came down on my right kneecap, and I shattered it. The surgery went well, but the force travelled through my body and then something's going on with my spine. The pain has been horrendous. And I've here since, learning two of the cornerstone lessons about self support… learning to let go of expectations and letting people offering love and support in.
The Fire Horse Asks (and Demands)… Can You Release What You Thought Would Happen?
When we talk about the Fire Horse year bringing movement and change, we imagine it happening our way. We picture ourselves holding the reins, moving forward with intention. But what happens when life throws you - some days actually literally, and suddenly you're not moving anywhere? My first instinct was to minimise the injury within my relationships because of my past experiences in life. "I'll be right. Maybe I've just bruised it. I'll work on Monday."
But Monday came and went. So did Tuesday. Wednesday. And then the retreat I had planned needed to be rescheduled. My body wasn't healing the way I expected. My work wasn't happening the way I planned. And normally? I would have been frustrated. Annoyed. Devastated even. Losing faith in the whole bloody point of it all. But this time, I tried something different. I supported myself by changing my expectations.
Not giving up on them. Just releasing the grip. Observing what I could actually do in this space instead of raging about what I couldn't. Because what I've learned through the years in my clinic is that when we set rigid expectations, wrapped over high emotions, we set ourselves up to fail. We get so stuck on what we wanted that we can't let anything else in. This means we can't see the plan B (or C, D, E) unfolding. And we can’t receive what's actually here for us. The Fire Horse doesn't just ask us to move. It asks us… Can you move with what is, instead of fighting for what you thought it should be?
The Fire Horse Asks… Can You Let Yourself Be Supported?
This second lesson hit even harder than the first. I've honestly never been in this much pain. Which has meant that I've had to ask for help. Not just once. But over and over again. Asking nurses to help me move. To walk. For pain medication. Letting people come in with their ideas - "we're going to try this, we're going to do that." Trusting other people's plans when I didn't have the capacity to make my own. And the hardest part? Letting people who want to help me (and those who love me) actually help me.
One of the beautiful women, a friend in my Life Unpacked Facebook Group saw my post and had connections at the hospital and she absolutely tucked me in. She got me into the most beautiful room where people can visit, where it's calm and I can really rest while I feel supported. And I've had the most amazing messages from so many of you. Messages that made me feel special, loved, held. But letting that in? Watching how I respond to people wanting to do things for me? That's been the real work. Because self support isn't just about doing it all yourself. It's not about being hyper-independent or proving you can handle it alone.
Self-support is also knowing when to let people in. When to receive. When to trust that you don't have to hold it all. The Fire Horse year will test this. It will speed things up. It will push you beyond your capacity. And if you can't let support in, there's a chance you'll burn out.
Full Force. This Is How the Fire Horse Year Begins
So this is how I've started the Year of the Fire Horse. Not the way I imagined. Not with bold momentum and not exactly conscious movement. But with the pain and discomfort of a shattered kneecap, a hospital bed, and two of the most profound lessons I could have learned that are leading me in conscious movement to…
- Let go of what you thought would happen, and
- Let people in when they want to support you.
This is self support in its rawest form. Not the Instagram version. Not the "I've got this" version. But the real, messy, humbling version where you have to trust the plan B, C and then D unfolding in front of you. And as always I've committed to share with you what's real for me.
The retreat will still go ahead. We're just rescheduling. My body will heal. Just not on my original expected timeline. My work will continue. Just with adjustments and looking a little differently for a while. And I'm learning. I'm learning that supporting myself doesn't mean controlling everything. I’m learning to let go and let love flood in.
As I say to you… this looks like me staying with myself through the chaos and doing the actual things. Asking for what I need, journaling, and letting go and letting in at the same time. So, if the Fire Horse has already thrown you this year. If things aren't going the way you planned, then maybe what I've shared here is your lesson too. Is it possible for you to see a way to release the expectation? Can you let yourself be supported? Because that's where the real movement begins. Consciously.
*If you’re wanting to support yourself through whatever life throws at you? Join the Life Unpacked Membership. Learn to hold your own reins with workshops, live support, and others that get it. Start practising regular self support with guidance and space that holds you.