Note: The Audio Version of ‘Are you ever ready to move out?’ is located at the end of the article.
When Jane decided to move out, she was super excited. It was one of the most important milestones in her life.
She had seen people move out before, only to return home broken. Saying the experience left them feeling defeated, unloved, unappreciated, and taken for granted. They completely lost sight of themselves and their happiness.
Jane was determined that this would not happen to her. She had learnt so much about herself that she was confident that she would be ok.
Still, she decided that she would seek advice from her dad before she left….
He said to her “moving out is a big thing.”
Many people who think they are ready, lose sight of the reason why they move out in the first place.
“What is the purpose of your moving out?”, he asked
“To find myself” she answered.
“Then there is no better way to find yourself than to move out”, he said.
“But first would you let me remind you of a few things?”
“I would love that” she replied.
Her dad went through some facts with her.
He reminded her that:
Even though there are 7.8 billion people that are currently living out of home, that her experience would be hers alone.
One of the biggest challenges she would have would be to not lose sight of this. The other problem that she will face is that she will forget everything about where she came from.
This was a lot. She sat with this for a moment.
After a while she asked. “Is there anything that can help?”
He looked at her for a long time and then he answered.
“Firstly, let me tell you about the rules.”
“There will be hundreds of rules to live by.
These rules will be imposed on you by everyone else to live their way.
Following other people’s rules will lead you to be introduced to the biggest distraction you will face.
Conditional love. That is ‘if you do what I want’ you will get love from me. If you don’t, I won’t give you anything.
These rules that you will adopt to chase conditional love will mean that you will stop questioning things.
When you stop questioning things you will forget how to listen to yourself. You will live like you are not in your life. Chasing conditional love will keep you away from finding you.”
She pondered this for a while and then she asked, “What is the most important thing I should know?”
“The only life you will be in is yours” he answered. “Let me explain.”
“Moving out is extremely emotional.”
“When you move out you are on your own.
You will emotionally react to everything.
Your emotional reactions are unique to you.
When you tune into these emotional reactions, you will find a pattern.
It’s your emotional experience, this pattern, that is a key to finding yourself.”
“How am I meant to understand this pattern?” She asked.
He replied, “The only thing you need to do is to question everything, to ask why.
When you question why, you will be able to listen to yourself.
To stop and feel the answer in the deepest knowing part of you. The part that remembers we are more than this experience.
Come back to you and question why until the answer you feel is your Truth. To know and follow and understand what feels right for you. This is how you listen.
When you listen to yourself you will understand yourself. Understanding yourself is the only way to find yourself.”
“What If I can’t find my emotional pattern?” She asked.
“You may feel that you are on your own, however, the truth is your true family will always be there for you, you just won’t see us.
You will always get hints and signs.
Would you like me to tell you about them?” he said.
“Please” she replied.
He continued “Everything means something,”
“There is a reason behind everything that will happen to you and everything you choose. It’s taking the time to ask why and listen to your truth that will help you find yourself.
Your birth, family, career, people in your life, your emotional reactions, your likes, your dislikes, it’s all important, it all contains valuable information and insights that can help you.
If you find your whys, you’ll find yourself.”
“What if I lose my way?” she asked
“If we need to redirect you, we can use your body to communicate with you through illness, injury or pain, it’s really quite ingenious.” he replied.
She thought for a while and then she asked.
“What is the biggest oversight that most people make?”
Ahh, he said. “That is not understanding the gift everyone gets when they move out. The gift of comparing.
You see when done properly comparing yourself to others will help you to follow your exact path by letting yourself be inspired to live more, want more, experience more, love more and to not be afraid.
But be warned most people use this gift incorrectly.
They will use comparison as a way to stop living, to be scared, to stop trying and to limit their experience.
When they use this gift incorrectly, they introduce a ladder of hierarchy and of success.
If you join into this ladder, you will never feel good enough.
The secret for you to remember is when introduced to the ladder, to always turn that ladder sideways. Every single time. Everyone is equal. Everyone you meet also moved out to find their self.”
“How do you know all this?” She asked
“The Handbook” he said, as he reached out and pulled a book off the bookshelf behind him.
“The Truth The Rules The Hints”
“More like Clarity Freedom and Support” she answered.
“Yes” he laughed “It definitely shows you the way to live if you truly want to find yourself.
“How am I going to remember all of this when I move out?” She asked
“I wonder?” he said.
He looked at her, then at the book, then back to her. He stretched out his arm.
“Take it” he said, “it’s yours if you want.”
